I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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