I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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