hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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