Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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