No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
