so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
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Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
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