I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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