And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
Randomize
