Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
