idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
Randomize
