that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
