just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Randomize
