This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Randomize
