i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
