Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
