we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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