I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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