WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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