i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
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