my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
