'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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