Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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