Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
