why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
