I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Randomize
