Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Randomize
