A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize