Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Randomize
