Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
