How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
