She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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