atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Randomize
