I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
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