shes about as inviting as chlamydia
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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