I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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