It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
