There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize