where does the pee come out of this thing
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
