There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
