youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
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