I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
