so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
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