i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
