we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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