I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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