You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
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