butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
The beer is more important than you right now.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
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