can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
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