I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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