is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
