dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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