Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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