Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Randomize
