Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
