and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
