What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
Randomize
