Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize