I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
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