Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
