Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Randomize
