idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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