On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
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