This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Randomize
