Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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