guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
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